You stopped the blood and made my head soft


Can someone please explain to me this lyrics sentence? It's bugging me for 24/7. Gonna ask my friends now. 

We will always meet that one person, that one person who has so much weight to carry, depressing past, so complicated and hard to understand, says love is not enough, then what is enough? & at the breaking point, should you endure the hardship or just move on. You stayed and that's the most beautiful disaster that ever happens to you, a unforgettable experience. Cause no matter how much you loved that person, how much you want to heal his wounds of tragedy it's never enough to hold him back, he is always lost with words, his action just does not proves anything. And yet it's too hard to not forgive him for what he have been through. There's so much for him in this world, but he just can't see his qualities. If loving him is hurtful, caring about him brings sleepless night then I am a fail. 
Cause I cannot change you. 

heartless [ˈhɑːtlɪs]

I wish I am heartless, so I won’t have to be emotional nor feel a single sorry.

I can just so walk away and be a sadist, I can simply move on without making second decision. I want to be heartless in a way that I won’t feel bad if you need a help. I want to be that kind of person, a person without emotions without empathy. 

But, I can't. Unless you are some displeasing person. 

phoebe. 

Something is really wrong with me, I am too comfortable. 








- phoebe

Habit is stronger than reason they say.. 

Last 2 months

He caught her so many times, doesn't mind the wait. Picks her up, brings her home, embrace her. He says this like thousands of times with that blazing eye-look 'just come any-time, I'll be here no matter what'. He knew instantly that my old habit is catching up with me, I told him it's okay nothing to worry I'm not abusing it. Yes, I know he is piss, his angry as usual but yeah I'm sure he will get over it, yeah that's what I told myself. Excuse for my guilt pleasure.  

He says 'Give you all, yet it's not enough, it's hard to look you in the eyes and thinks that everything is okay, but we are faking it. I thought you were better than this.' 

I need this things, things to get my sickening thoughts away, this things help. I say I am not abusing it and you say I tell myself things that only I wanna hear. Of course it pisses me. Why can't you understand?

It's just this roller coaster ride, we go up high as the Eiffel Tower then everything just slide down, hit us both hard on the ground. But we always make it to the next stop, you never alight that ride, neither did I.         

Last 2 week

Days just past so quickly, he made up his mind, tells himself not to look back after this meet-up, no need to make a second decision. As he get mature from mistakes he made, he does not compromise anything, he just head on with his heart of stone. Move on, he said. He left me behind, it sucks, mentally, he just killed it. Everything I've planned and wanted us to be, gone. It's okay, you said you don't want to, I understand it's no use trying to fix us. You tried to save it, whatever you do it's not wrong or right, things have to be done. Yeah, Sawyer was right people come and go. 

'I'm sorry, dearest. I didn't meant us to go wrong. & I cannot pretend another day.

Please stop doing things that will make you who you are.

My heart is fooling me again, I thought what you thought too.

We had such wondrous wonderment about us, but things go wrong.

I'm truly sorry, really.

I don't know how to be me anymore, that me you want me to be, I just grew out of it, it's hard to say goodbye.

But dear, everything will be alright you will be love again.' - He        

We both cried. You comfort me as usual, as always, you do that. Later everything will be okay, I hate your longing look.. That kind of look that everything will be different.                          

Today 

Been days since we last talked. Was gonna call him, I gotta talk to him. Ay he didn't pick up, he didn't return my calls. Maybe his just kidding, we never been away from each other this long. But he seem serious the last time.

You meant it. This time, I thought you were pulling a april fool prank by not returning my calls.

Something is really wrong with me. Oh. Wednesday will be my last, I promise. 

Phoebe 

There now, steady love. So few come and don't go. Will you, won't you, be the world I always know?

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